K
Keith Allaire (Little Upsilon)
04 Mar 2009 12:38
Link
Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts, En Banc.
In re Jurisdiction of New Little Upsilon Order; Prime Minister Keith Allaire, Petitioner.
Case No. 23860062
31 March 2386.
Per Curiam.
I. Summary of Fact.
On 24 January 2385, the Prime Minister Keith Allaire did receive a hand-scribbled writ of summons from a little known entity purporting to call itself the Little Upsilon International Court. Writ of summons demanded his appearance at the Little Upsilon International Court to answer charges brought against him for, as best this Court can discern from the record, piracy. Alarmed by visions of foreign World Police somehow invading Evil Woody Thoughts to haul him off never to be seen again, the Prime Minister immediately filed a motion with the Evil Woody Thoughts Supreme Court seeking an emergency injunction barring his extradition to the Little Upsilon International Court, effectively quashing its summons. The Prime Minister's pleading raised three prima facie defenses to the writ of summons: 1) that as head of state he enjoyed sovereign immunity against any summons issued by a foreign court, 2) the Little Upsilon International Court lacks personal jurisdiction over him because it is a judicial organ of an entity of which Evil Woody Thoughts is not a part, and 3) the charges against him are not justiciable because they were brought to resolve a political question.
As the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts has original jurisdiction over judicial disputes between Woodian ministers of state and foreign powers, pursuant to Article III of the Woodian Constitution, we notified the Little Upsilon International Court of Petitioner's filings and issued instructions to the Prosecutor of the Little Upsilon International Court for a Response. Specifically, this instruction requested that the Little Upsilon International Court explain upon what basis it could claim personal jurisdiction against the Prime Minister, given that he contested such court's jurisdiction directly. It was approximately at this point that several of the Justices of this Court had to leave deliberations to find their glasses, that they may read the various illegible scrawls that were sent in response. After they returned, scratching their heads, this Court did endeavor to decipher the ramblings of the NLUO Prosecutor. The journey begins...
II. Records Considered by this Court.
We first begin by transcribing the documentation provided by the NLUO, in a semi-legible format, or so we hope. We did seek to avoid using cauliflower-colored crayon.
Dear President Keith A. of Evil Woody Thoughts 0 CEO tax. I am the Secretary of Justce in the NLUO, and the Prosecutor of the LU International Court on March 7th 2009 at the LU Interational Court Chatroom for trial.www.newlittleupsilonorder.webs.com Please don't take this personal.. I am just doing my job. I have been intructed to inform you that you have been charged by the Justices of the Peace with Warmongering, and Piracy by war for profit, and not for survival. This is a violation of LU Policy, and is punishable by a LEVEL 7 FELONY, which states the following IF THE PRESIDENT ON TRIAL IS FOUND GUILTY OF THE CRIME THAT HE OR SHE IS CHARGED, THE NATION WILL BE PRESIDENTIAL BOYCOTTED FOR 30 YEARS EVERY 2 YEARS, AND THERE WILL BE SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTIONS AGAINST THE NATION IN QUESTION FOR NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS, AND NO NUCLEAR FACILITIES IN THEIR COUNTRY. The Justices are Justices Orbiter, Jack Frost, Zentrino, and Chief Justice Erivia. I will be procecuting you, and we have 2 witnesses against you. You can use General G of USSR for a Public Defender or represent yourself.. Please show up for your court date: March7th 2009 LU International Court Chatroom:www.newlittleupsilonorder.webs.com
This Court, after receiving this exhibit from Petitioner, along with motion for injunction barring extradition, did send the following reply to the NLUO Prosecutor.
Upon receipt of writ of summons, Prime Minister Keith Allaire has filed a motion to dismiss with the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts, alleging a lack of jurisdiction on the part of the LU International Court. Prime Minister Allaire has entered a complaint that claims the defense of sovereign immunity as head of state. In addition, the Prime Minister pleads that the charges brought against him are not justiciable because they represent a political question. Therefore he has petitioned the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts to quash the summons. The Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts will rule on this question no later than 4 March 2009.
The New Little Upsilon Order is invited to submit a legal brief or pleading answering the complaint and explaining what personal jurisdiction, and on what grounds, it claims over the Prime Minister. Failure to do so may result in a default judgment against the NLUO. The NLUO has 48 hours to respond.
We most decidedly wish we had not. Approximately at this point it became clear to us that the opposing Prosecutor does not know how to read a court's instruction.
I will get this info to the Justices of the Peace, and see what they rule on this matter. Thank you for your reply upon the summons summitted to you. I will see if they are interested in Quashing the Summons and charges. I will get back to you before the court date.
It therefore became necessary for the Court to clarify such instruction. We re-sent our earlier message, which we will spare our reporters from printing here, along with an explanatory headnote. This proved to be a mistake. Not even after decades of observing pro se litigants before this Court have the Justices observed such heinous bludgeoning of the English language. We indeed feel great sympathy for the court reporter who must transcribe the gobbledygook below. We will forego inserting the usual [sic] tags simply because doing so would add five acres' worth of paper-milled forest to this Court's opinion.
Secretary of Justice Office: @ Keith We will drop all of the charges if you agree to stop attacking nations for profit because of the GM's clamp down on funds. We have a peace treaty we have drawn out, and you will only have to abide by it until it runs it's course. If you are not agreeable to these terms, then We will go get the jurisdiction we need to procecute.. Please take the terms to show that you are not a warmongering country.. You were just doing what was best for your people of your empire. That will help us both out, so we don't have to even go through this trial. We hope you consider the offer.
At this point the Court gave up attempting to decipher the International Court Prosecutor's vain attempts at communication, and the Justices of the Court instead retreated to the nearest Law Library, that they might endeavor to do the Prosecutor's job in researching international law for him. Whilst such research was taking place, one of the Justices, sipping coffee at two in the morning in an attempt to stay awake, ran across a news update concerning a "Finding of Fact" of the NLUO Chair, concerning the Little Upsilon International Court charges against Petitioner. While technically such "Finding of Fact" answers questions of law, and not of fact, this Court notes with appreciation that such findings were at least written somewhat legibly in blue ink, semi-adhering to some modicum of proper format, in such a manner that a reasonable Justice might actually comprehend.
@ Keith
@ Hezzy,
The NLUO Chairmans Finding of FACT:
Keith is correct in the FACT that NLUO truely doesn't hold Jurisdiction over any Sovereign Nation.That is NOT a part of the NLUO.
The LU Community In FACT has not Accepted the NLUO as an International Law provider,therefore NLUO cannot Correctly Claim any International Laws were in deed Violated.
Closed Elections are not Valid, nor a Part of any Democratic Process.
Closed Elections in FACT violate the Principles of Democracy.
All Elections for every Decision,Policy,Rule and/or Law thats intended for the Bettering of the LU community should be in FACT open for General Voting by the LU community as a whole.
Fact until the LU Community Has accepted an International Law Provider and Justice Administration,
Acts of WAR and unseeming behaviour WILL continue to exsit.
Acts of WAR for PROFIT will continue to Esculate.
Not only would an International LAW Provider and Justice Administration be appropriate, But there would be the need for an International Law Enforcement Administration (WORLD POLICE FORCE).
Until these issues Can be resolved there truely Can be no Trails of Offenders or Bringing any Offenders to any type of Justice under any International LAW.
Sincerely,
King Grayson301
At long last someone attempted to perform Prosecutor Hezekiah's duties on his behalf. This Court notes Grayson's effort with appreciation, and can now attempt the Herculean task of putting the Humpty Dumpty of NLUO Legal Logic back together again.
III. Questions of Law, Holdings.
At this point, the Court must resolve the massive quantities of Gobbledygook produced by the NLUO Prosecutor With Crayon's scrawlings. The Court takes note of several concerns.
Concern, the first. The writ of summons states, "You can use General G of USSR for a Public Defender or represent yourself." We distinctly note the lack of provision for Petitioner (in the eyes of LU International Court, Respondent) utilizing legal counsel of his choice. General G is a known client state of United Israelite Empire. We therefore question whether General G can fulfill his duty to represent client with his best effort. The choice between utilizing incompetent or worse counsel, or appearing pro se, absent the right to hire independent counsel, is a dichotomy which this Court would rule a violation of due process were it to occur within the borders of Evil Woody Thoughts. We therefore question how the Prime Minister could receive a fair trial from the Little Upsilon International Court.
Concern, the second. The New Little Upsilon Order proceeds under the authority of a constitution that is not ratified and therefore inoperative. Two ratification votes have been held, and both failed. The Chairman of the NLUO acknowledged as such, and stated in his findings of law that the process of holding secret votes by chatroom, with no record or minutes thereof, is legally defective, inadmissible, and void.
Concern, the third. Article V of the Constitution of Evil Woody Thoughts provides that "this Constitution shall be the Supreme Law of the Land within the borders of Evil Woody Thoughts, and all foreign territories and annexations thereof." Evil Woody Thoughts is not a signatory to the New Little Upsilon Order and therefore is not bound by NLUO statute, ruling, or any other regulation or rule emanating from the NLUO. The concept of sovereign immunity is one well established in international law and one well recognized on Little Upsilon. Those nations that attempted to infringe upon another nation's immunities have traditionally required very large armies to defend such claims. Indeed, the NLUO Chair concluded in his Findings of Law that the NLUO cannot compel a sovereign nation to follow its directives.
Concern, the forth. After much searching and scratching of heads, this Court is unable to determine any principle of comity under which the NLUO's laws might become enforceable. The policies of NLUO are generally recognized as repugnant by all but a tiny fraction of the Little Upsilon community. Indeed, this Court notes with interest (and laughter) that the International Court Prosecutor was laughed out of the Security Council chamber when distributing hand sketches of a proposed resolution on the matter smeared in crayon.
Concern, the fifth. This Court cannot begin to comprehend how the NLUO intends to enforce its rulings. Indeed, Justice Ehrell spilled his drink all over his black robes laughing as this question was asked.
Concern, the sixth. This Court discerns a blatantly obvious attempt on the part of the NLUO to dictate foreign policy to the sovereign nations of Little Upsilon. The charges that the NLUO attempts to bring and that this Court is prepared to dismiss with prejudice are an obvious political question not justiciable by a court of law. The NLUO cannot cite to statute as a basis for its prosecution, because there is no known statute granting it this authority. The vague "LU Policy" that it attempts to cite is indeed classified to everyone outside the NLUO...which includes approximately 99% of the Little Upsilon population.
In consideration of the aforementioned concerns, along with numerous defects in the New Little Upsilon Order's logic, the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts holds that no foreign power may compel the Prime Minister to face charges before its courts, regardless of what that foreign power calls itself or what delusions of grandeur possess it. The Prime Minister shall not be compelled before the LU International Court and shall furthermore enjoy immunity from its prosecution (persecution)? The empire of Evil Woody Thoughts is in no way bound to any policy, court case brought by, or action of, the New Little Upsilon Order, nor is it obligated in any way to recognize such entity as a "World Government."
Injunction against extradition of Petitioner to foreign court granted.
This Court furthermore demands a return of or refund for all crayons used in the composition of this opinion.
It is so ordered.
In re Jurisdiction of New Little Upsilon Order; Prime Minister Keith Allaire, Petitioner.
Case No. 23860062
31 March 2386.
Per Curiam.
I. Summary of Fact.
On 24 January 2385, the Prime Minister Keith Allaire did receive a hand-scribbled writ of summons from a little known entity purporting to call itself the Little Upsilon International Court. Writ of summons demanded his appearance at the Little Upsilon International Court to answer charges brought against him for, as best this Court can discern from the record, piracy. Alarmed by visions of foreign World Police somehow invading Evil Woody Thoughts to haul him off never to be seen again, the Prime Minister immediately filed a motion with the Evil Woody Thoughts Supreme Court seeking an emergency injunction barring his extradition to the Little Upsilon International Court, effectively quashing its summons. The Prime Minister's pleading raised three prima facie defenses to the writ of summons: 1) that as head of state he enjoyed sovereign immunity against any summons issued by a foreign court, 2) the Little Upsilon International Court lacks personal jurisdiction over him because it is a judicial organ of an entity of which Evil Woody Thoughts is not a part, and 3) the charges against him are not justiciable because they were brought to resolve a political question.
As the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts has original jurisdiction over judicial disputes between Woodian ministers of state and foreign powers, pursuant to Article III of the Woodian Constitution, we notified the Little Upsilon International Court of Petitioner's filings and issued instructions to the Prosecutor of the Little Upsilon International Court for a Response. Specifically, this instruction requested that the Little Upsilon International Court explain upon what basis it could claim personal jurisdiction against the Prime Minister, given that he contested such court's jurisdiction directly. It was approximately at this point that several of the Justices of this Court had to leave deliberations to find their glasses, that they may read the various illegible scrawls that were sent in response. After they returned, scratching their heads, this Court did endeavor to decipher the ramblings of the NLUO Prosecutor. The journey begins...
II. Records Considered by this Court.
We first begin by transcribing the documentation provided by the NLUO, in a semi-legible format, or so we hope. We did seek to avoid using cauliflower-colored crayon.
Dear President Keith A. of Evil Woody Thoughts 0 CEO tax. I am the Secretary of Justce in the NLUO, and the Prosecutor of the LU International Court on March 7th 2009 at the LU Interational Court Chatroom for trial.www.newlittleupsilonorder.webs.com Please don't take this personal.. I am just doing my job. I have been intructed to inform you that you have been charged by the Justices of the Peace with Warmongering, and Piracy by war for profit, and not for survival. This is a violation of LU Policy, and is punishable by a LEVEL 7 FELONY, which states the following IF THE PRESIDENT ON TRIAL IS FOUND GUILTY OF THE CRIME THAT HE OR SHE IS CHARGED, THE NATION WILL BE PRESIDENTIAL BOYCOTTED FOR 30 YEARS EVERY 2 YEARS, AND THERE WILL BE SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTIONS AGAINST THE NATION IN QUESTION FOR NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS, AND NO NUCLEAR FACILITIES IN THEIR COUNTRY. The Justices are Justices Orbiter, Jack Frost, Zentrino, and Chief Justice Erivia. I will be procecuting you, and we have 2 witnesses against you. You can use General G of USSR for a Public Defender or represent yourself.. Please show up for your court date: March7th 2009 LU International Court Chatroom:www.newlittleupsilonorder.webs.com
This Court, after receiving this exhibit from Petitioner, along with motion for injunction barring extradition, did send the following reply to the NLUO Prosecutor.
Upon receipt of writ of summons, Prime Minister Keith Allaire has filed a motion to dismiss with the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts, alleging a lack of jurisdiction on the part of the LU International Court. Prime Minister Allaire has entered a complaint that claims the defense of sovereign immunity as head of state. In addition, the Prime Minister pleads that the charges brought against him are not justiciable because they represent a political question. Therefore he has petitioned the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts to quash the summons. The Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts will rule on this question no later than 4 March 2009.
The New Little Upsilon Order is invited to submit a legal brief or pleading answering the complaint and explaining what personal jurisdiction, and on what grounds, it claims over the Prime Minister. Failure to do so may result in a default judgment against the NLUO. The NLUO has 48 hours to respond.
We most decidedly wish we had not. Approximately at this point it became clear to us that the opposing Prosecutor does not know how to read a court's instruction.
I will get this info to the Justices of the Peace, and see what they rule on this matter. Thank you for your reply upon the summons summitted to you. I will see if they are interested in Quashing the Summons and charges. I will get back to you before the court date.
It therefore became necessary for the Court to clarify such instruction. We re-sent our earlier message, which we will spare our reporters from printing here, along with an explanatory headnote. This proved to be a mistake. Not even after decades of observing pro se litigants before this Court have the Justices observed such heinous bludgeoning of the English language. We indeed feel great sympathy for the court reporter who must transcribe the gobbledygook below. We will forego inserting the usual [sic] tags simply because doing so would add five acres' worth of paper-milled forest to this Court's opinion.
Secretary of Justice Office: @ Keith We will drop all of the charges if you agree to stop attacking nations for profit because of the GM's clamp down on funds. We have a peace treaty we have drawn out, and you will only have to abide by it until it runs it's course. If you are not agreeable to these terms, then We will go get the jurisdiction we need to procecute.. Please take the terms to show that you are not a warmongering country.. You were just doing what was best for your people of your empire. That will help us both out, so we don't have to even go through this trial. We hope you consider the offer.
At this point the Court gave up attempting to decipher the International Court Prosecutor's vain attempts at communication, and the Justices of the Court instead retreated to the nearest Law Library, that they might endeavor to do the Prosecutor's job in researching international law for him. Whilst such research was taking place, one of the Justices, sipping coffee at two in the morning in an attempt to stay awake, ran across a news update concerning a "Finding of Fact" of the NLUO Chair, concerning the Little Upsilon International Court charges against Petitioner. While technically such "Finding of Fact" answers questions of law, and not of fact, this Court notes with appreciation that such findings were at least written somewhat legibly in blue ink, semi-adhering to some modicum of proper format, in such a manner that a reasonable Justice might actually comprehend.
@ Keith
@ Hezzy,
The NLUO Chairmans Finding of FACT:
Keith is correct in the FACT that NLUO truely doesn't hold Jurisdiction over any Sovereign Nation.That is NOT a part of the NLUO.
The LU Community In FACT has not Accepted the NLUO as an International Law provider,therefore NLUO cannot Correctly Claim any International Laws were in deed Violated.
Closed Elections are not Valid, nor a Part of any Democratic Process.
Closed Elections in FACT violate the Principles of Democracy.
All Elections for every Decision,Policy,Rule and/or Law thats intended for the Bettering of the LU community should be in FACT open for General Voting by the LU community as a whole.
Fact until the LU Community Has accepted an International Law Provider and Justice Administration,
Acts of WAR and unseeming behaviour WILL continue to exsit.
Acts of WAR for PROFIT will continue to Esculate.
Not only would an International LAW Provider and Justice Administration be appropriate, But there would be the need for an International Law Enforcement Administration (WORLD POLICE FORCE).
Until these issues Can be resolved there truely Can be no Trails of Offenders or Bringing any Offenders to any type of Justice under any International LAW.
Sincerely,
King Grayson301
At long last someone attempted to perform Prosecutor Hezekiah's duties on his behalf. This Court notes Grayson's effort with appreciation, and can now attempt the Herculean task of putting the Humpty Dumpty of NLUO Legal Logic back together again.
III. Questions of Law, Holdings.
At this point, the Court must resolve the massive quantities of Gobbledygook produced by the NLUO Prosecutor With Crayon's scrawlings. The Court takes note of several concerns.
Concern, the first. The writ of summons states, "You can use General G of USSR for a Public Defender or represent yourself." We distinctly note the lack of provision for Petitioner (in the eyes of LU International Court, Respondent) utilizing legal counsel of his choice. General G is a known client state of United Israelite Empire. We therefore question whether General G can fulfill his duty to represent client with his best effort. The choice between utilizing incompetent or worse counsel, or appearing pro se, absent the right to hire independent counsel, is a dichotomy which this Court would rule a violation of due process were it to occur within the borders of Evil Woody Thoughts. We therefore question how the Prime Minister could receive a fair trial from the Little Upsilon International Court.
Concern, the second. The New Little Upsilon Order proceeds under the authority of a constitution that is not ratified and therefore inoperative. Two ratification votes have been held, and both failed. The Chairman of the NLUO acknowledged as such, and stated in his findings of law that the process of holding secret votes by chatroom, with no record or minutes thereof, is legally defective, inadmissible, and void.
Concern, the third. Article V of the Constitution of Evil Woody Thoughts provides that "this Constitution shall be the Supreme Law of the Land within the borders of Evil Woody Thoughts, and all foreign territories and annexations thereof." Evil Woody Thoughts is not a signatory to the New Little Upsilon Order and therefore is not bound by NLUO statute, ruling, or any other regulation or rule emanating from the NLUO. The concept of sovereign immunity is one well established in international law and one well recognized on Little Upsilon. Those nations that attempted to infringe upon another nation's immunities have traditionally required very large armies to defend such claims. Indeed, the NLUO Chair concluded in his Findings of Law that the NLUO cannot compel a sovereign nation to follow its directives.
Concern, the forth. After much searching and scratching of heads, this Court is unable to determine any principle of comity under which the NLUO's laws might become enforceable. The policies of NLUO are generally recognized as repugnant by all but a tiny fraction of the Little Upsilon community. Indeed, this Court notes with interest (and laughter) that the International Court Prosecutor was laughed out of the Security Council chamber when distributing hand sketches of a proposed resolution on the matter smeared in crayon.
Concern, the fifth. This Court cannot begin to comprehend how the NLUO intends to enforce its rulings. Indeed, Justice Ehrell spilled his drink all over his black robes laughing as this question was asked.
Concern, the sixth. This Court discerns a blatantly obvious attempt on the part of the NLUO to dictate foreign policy to the sovereign nations of Little Upsilon. The charges that the NLUO attempts to bring and that this Court is prepared to dismiss with prejudice are an obvious political question not justiciable by a court of law. The NLUO cannot cite to statute as a basis for its prosecution, because there is no known statute granting it this authority. The vague "LU Policy" that it attempts to cite is indeed classified to everyone outside the NLUO...which includes approximately 99% of the Little Upsilon population.
In consideration of the aforementioned concerns, along with numerous defects in the New Little Upsilon Order's logic, the Supreme Court of Evil Woody Thoughts holds that no foreign power may compel the Prime Minister to face charges before its courts, regardless of what that foreign power calls itself or what delusions of grandeur possess it. The Prime Minister shall not be compelled before the LU International Court and shall furthermore enjoy immunity from its prosecution (persecution)? The empire of Evil Woody Thoughts is in no way bound to any policy, court case brought by, or action of, the New Little Upsilon Order, nor is it obligated in any way to recognize such entity as a "World Government."
Injunction against extradition of Petitioner to foreign court granted.
This Court furthermore demands a return of or refund for all crayons used in the composition of this opinion.
It is so ordered.
