Mr Chek ov Pull up the Can ola G. Scan of Fee Bee Lui.

An overjoyed Sulu shouts,"Admiral on the bridge!"
"Battle stations!"
orders Kirk.

"Tactical."

Peanut harvesting genuis, we bow at your almighty lotus feet we call upon warp drive to activate shoot us to the nearest potatoes. Identifiy yourself, captin of all roaches!!

Spock leers at Uhrura, who bats her eyes at him. Chekov screams, " Enemy wessel! Enemy wessel, Keptin!"
"Oh, stuff a sock in it, ya rooskie" mutters Bones.
Spock, still leering, chortles and initiates a mind meld with Uhura, and they both ignore the enemy wessel.
Kirk jerks a thumb toward the pair and tells McCoy to get em back to duty stations.
"I'm a doctor, Jim, not a damn drill instructor, " mutters McCoy, and resumes glaring at the enemy wessel on the viewscreen. It is now frantically trying to open hailing frequencies, but to no avail, as Uhura is still drooling on Spock... To be continued.

It's an ALIEN!!!!

No entiendo

krik! scan captin peat the locust of all flies has eluded the master of all cattle for far to long.,
Aye! capitn! mustard probe activated captin!

as the Dust is in settling.
"yes we've been through death and life together,"quips Kirk.
_____________"Mr Scott, you
_____________old space dog!
_____________you're well?
_____________"I had me a wee
_____________bout , but Dr.
_____________McCoy pulled
_____________me thru".

"Shore leave",
Bones interjects.

Captain
James of the Enterprise.
when we are attacked by
an unknown Alien Race.
the Play-wood windows
is Down 15%

"Noooo! Not shore leave!" wails Spock, flailing his arms and emoting all over the bridge. "Remember what happened last time?"
"Wrong again, you gree-blooded elf!" snarls McCoy. "that was a planet bombarded by Berthold radiation, not a shore leave! Get your facts straight for once, you excitable boy!"
"Don't wanna go," Spock sniffles.
"Fine!" Kirk shouts "You can stay aboard and polish the dilithium chamber. The rest of us are going on leave. Scotty, how long until we have warp capability?"
"Ach, Captain, me puir wee bairns have been overtaxed again. Could take days," Scott blithely reports.
"Well, you have 10 hours. Kirk out."
"I'm an engineer, not a soddin' miracle worker," Scott mutters to himself.
Spock waves his arms frantically. "captain, did you hear that? he just said--"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Spock, we all heard. Now grow up," sneers McCoy.

If you're enjoying this parody, gimme an amen

"Captain! Alien wessel-I mean vessel- two points off the starboard bow! They looks to be pirates, mateys!" Sulu shrieks.
"oh, here we go again", mutters McCoy.
Kirk: "open hailing frequencies."
Uhura:" Avast there, ye scurrvy scum! Make a signal or we'll give ye a broadside from yon trusty Phaser banks! Then we'll swing aboard with transporters, with phasers clutched in our teeth, and send ye all to Davy Jones's Locker!"
Sulu; "Oh, my," (wriggles in his seat)
"Not exactly what I had in mind", kirk mutters between clenched teeth.
Uhura: "Surrender your vessel, ye lily-livered scoundrels, and deliver the loot, or it's a taste of the cat we'll be givin' you, once we blow yer filthy scow to flinders!"
Sulu: "ooh, heavens to betsy, that'll fetch 'em", (fans face with hand)
Spock: "Battle stations, sir?" (takes a bite of Replicator steak tartare and washes it down with a pull from a bottle of Romulan ale)
Kirk: "Now this is an order! everyone"---------
What will be his order? Will anyone listen? Stay tuned, same trek-time, same trek-station, for the next installment.

GM keeps moving this thread immediately to "Last Week" posts. Read it while you can.

Frayed its a
Grey D Bear on
Capn. SIR.
"Mr. Sulu, plot an intercept course!''
''May I remind the Captain that if a Starship enters the Neutral Zone...''
"I'm aware of my responsibilities, Mr. Sulu!"

Byte at Grey D Bear on,
should have named Rock individuals Spock,
Go over the 70% Lower profile with a Docile
Stale cite an get Bettor Ham san wedge back to
Case file Byte short from

Hope the words posted by Andy in the Forum on Tuesday 15th April 2014 at 10.17am will be heeded so this nonsense ends.

I would hope so. I'm really not enjoying logging into threads I follow just to find a bunch of crap posted.

The Enterprise is dead in space.

As Saavik sits in a stupor, Admiral
Kirks voice booms over loud-
speakers.
"All right. open her up."
The lights come up. and there is a loud clanging as Kirk enters the bridge.
and Spock comes alive.
Saavik at attention.
"I don't believe this was a fair test
of my command capabilities, Sir.
There was no way to win."
Kirk is terse.
"A no-win situation is a possibility
every commander may face. Has
that never occurred to you?"

"No sir. it has not."
"How we deal with death is at
least as important as how we deal
with life, wouldnt you say, Saavik?"

"As I indicated, Admiral, that
thought had not occurred to me."

"Then you have something new
to think about. Carry on."

"Well, Spock, your cadets destroyed the simulator room and you with it."

"The Kobayashi Maru scenario frequently wreaks havoc with students and Equipment. As I recall, you took the test three times yourself. Your final solution was, shall we say, unique?"

OK, now we know that lennie can communicate other than in gibberish. Or can he? Possibly he is simply copying text from a script...
Am I included in the anti-drivel campaign? I thot my ST parody was funny, but I will stop if it is annoying people. I have confined it to this one thread.

LOL, maclean, I think he choose that script on purpose. Do you have a ST void that needs filled? maybe they need a new TV show that meets the standards that the ST fans would approve of. lol I do not mind your thread. like you said its in one thread. no harm. lol

@peat, unique!? yea it is. I've never seen Klingons so big come from someones rear end as yours! Such a great way to defeat them! Bones to peats bridge, he needs some medical attention for his hemorrhoids! And Scotty, We need a plumber! seems Capt Peat, stopped up the bathroom again! It is so backed up we might have a warp drive melt down! OH no, his Klingons have infected the coolant lines! Scotty said, The plungers to small to fix it this time! We Must Abandon ship!!! AH, I just stepped in some.... UEWWWW lol
All Beware the Vulcan Mind Meld!

"Well." says David,
"dont have kittens.
Genesis is going to
work. They'll remember
you in one breath with
Newton, Einstein,
Surak..."

"Man, every time we
have dealings with Star-
fleet I get nervous.
we're dealing with
something that could be
perverted into a
dreadful weapon,

That's a zact see the-"

Mr Sulu, Plot a
360 Degree course thru
The Fibronica Fracture Zone.

"Shut up, captain, or I'll fracture your fibronica!" shouts Sulu, bouncing up and down in his chair. "A 360 degree course will have us going in circles! This is the area where space-jellyfish lurk, remember? If we run into a swarm of them, it'll stop up the plasma vents!"
Kirk: "Scotty, is that true?"
Scotty: "Not bluidy likely, sirr, if we keep em swept clear with a modified beam from the deflector dish."
"No, no, not the deflector dish!!" howls Spock, jumping up and down and tearing at his hair. "Last time I had to spend hours re-routing all the damage he caused! It nearly gave me an attack of pon farr!"
Bones: " Aw, yer always threatenin' an attack of pon farr, or claustrophobi-itis, or the rigors. Get over it, ya green-blooded half-breed!"
Kirk: "That reminds me, I have to see Yeoman Rand about a dog, or something..." (slithers off his control chair and skulks toward the turbolift).
Chekov (screaming): " Keptin! Enemy wessel 2 points off the port quarter!! They are locking veppons on us! Help!" (foams at the mouth, runs around the bridge in circles)

HaHa, maclean you even have Chekov's accent right!