WE INTERRUPT THIS FORUM FOR A PRESIDENTIAL NEWS CONFERENCE
PRESIDENTIAL AIDE: Ladies and gentleman, The President of Lakeview C.E.
PRESIDENT NEIDY: I wish to thank the press corp for attending this hastily called press conferenece. My remmarks will be brief and I will only be able to take a few questions as I must attend the state dinner in honor of President Crazy Eye. The evil Empress of Darkness known as Kiss of Death has recently branded me a "liar " and "dishonourable" during a recent minor bidding process to take control of some badly managed an disrespectfully named corps located in the tropical nations of our great empire. This president of Death claimed that I made a wholesale raid of dozens of corps at the onset of the very friendly bidding. I intended to contact the evil empress via e-mail, but unfortunately, the "Kissi Electric Power Company" had yet another power failure making this communication impossible.I totaly deny these unsubstantiated charges. I will now take questions.
REPORTER: Thank you Madam President, I am Angelica Munoz of 'La Prensa de Regem Angelorum'. Do you think we can ever have peace with President Death?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: We all hope for peace. I am encouraged by the fact that President Death has left Fearless Blue. This is a good starting point. Next Question.
REPORTER:I am Jimmy Lopez, 'Republica del Salvador Post'. Madam President, you deny being dishonourable and a liar. However, President Death also called you a "menace", "callous", "obnoxius", "mentally unstable", "delusional", "a trouble maker", "undiplomatic", and "stupid". Do you have any response to these charges?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: I can assure all citizens of the empire that these conditions of mine are being treated and my prognosis is improving. I will be more than glad to make public my psychiatrist's latest report.Next question.
REPORTER: Thank you Madam President. I am John Schmidt of the 'Trident Daily'. It is reported that today President Death referred to you as a "tit". Do you have any response to her remark?
PRESIDENT NEIDY: Well umm, er... she called me a tit? I'm not sure what to say. I do have two tits.
PRESIDENTIAL AIDE: The press conference is concluded! The President has to attend the dinner.
REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS: President Neidy! What is your bra size? Do you wear implants? Can we see some cleavage?