| len Peat | Friday, April 11, 2014 - 09:36 pm 
An overjoyed Sulu shouts,"Admiral on the bridge!"
"Battle stations!"
orders Kirk.
"Tactical." |
| Presidium | Saturday, April 12, 2014 - 12:39 am
Peanut harvesting genuis, we bow at your almighty lotus feet we call upon warp drive to activate shoot us to the nearest potatoes. Identifiy yourself, captin of all roaches!! |
| maclean | Saturday, April 12, 2014 - 12:38 pm
Spock leers at Uhrura, who bats her eyes at him. Chekov screams, " Enemy wessel! Enemy wessel, Keptin!"
"Oh, stuff a sock in it, ya rooskie" mutters Bones.
Spock, still leering, chortles and initiates a mind meld with Uhura, and they both ignore the enemy wessel.
Kirk jerks a thumb toward the pair and tells McCoy to get em back to duty stations.
"I'm a doctor, Jim, not a damn drill instructor, " mutters McCoy, and resumes glaring at the enemy wessel on the viewscreen. It is now frantically trying to open hailing frequencies, but to no avail, as Uhura is still drooling on Spock... To be continued. |
| blah Blah | Saturday, April 12, 2014 - 01:26 pm
It's an ALIEN!!!! |
| Volvo | Saturday, April 12, 2014 - 05:53 pm
No entiendo  |
| Presidium | Saturday, April 12, 2014 - 09:33 pm
krik! scan captin peat the locust of all flies has eluded the master of all cattle for far to long.,
Aye! capitn! mustard probe activated captin! |
| len Peat | Sunday, April 13, 2014 - 10:04 pm
as the Dust is in settling.
"yes we've been through death and life together,"quips Kirk.
_____________"Mr Scott, you
_____________old space dog!
_____________you're well?
_____________"I had me a wee
_____________bout , but Dr.
_____________McCoy pulled
_____________me thru".
"Shore leave",
Bones interjects. |
| len Peat | Sunday, April 13, 2014 - 10:31 pm
Captain
James of the Enterprise.
when we are attacked by
an unknown Alien Race.
the Play-wood windows
is Down 15% |
| maclean | Monday, April 14, 2014 - 07:11 am
"Noooo! Not shore leave!" wails Spock, flailing his arms and emoting all over the bridge. "Remember what happened last time?"
"Wrong again, you gree-blooded elf!" snarls McCoy. "that was a planet bombarded by Berthold radiation, not a shore leave! Get your facts straight for once, you excitable boy!"
"Don't wanna go," Spock sniffles.
"Fine!" Kirk shouts "You can stay aboard and polish the dilithium chamber. The rest of us are going on leave. Scotty, how long until we have warp capability?"
"Ach, Captain, me puir wee bairns have been overtaxed again. Could take days," Scott blithely reports.
"Well, you have 10 hours. Kirk out."
"I'm an engineer, not a soddin' miracle worker," Scott mutters to himself.
Spock waves his arms frantically. "captain, did you hear that? he just said--"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Spock, we all heard. Now grow up," sneers McCoy. |
| maclean | Monday, April 14, 2014 - 07:12 am
If you're enjoying this parody, gimme an amen  |
| maclean | Tuesday, April 15, 2014 - 09:21 am
"Captain! Alien wessel-I mean vessel- two points off the starboard bow! They looks to be pirates, mateys!" Sulu shrieks.
"oh, here we go again", mutters McCoy.
Kirk: "open hailing frequencies."
Uhura:" Avast there, ye scurrvy scum! Make a signal or we'll give ye a broadside from yon trusty Phaser banks! Then we'll swing aboard with transporters, with phasers clutched in our teeth, and send ye all to Davy Jones's Locker!"
Sulu; "Oh, my," (wriggles in his seat)
"Not exactly what I had in mind", kirk mutters between clenched teeth.
Uhura: "Surrender your vessel, ye lily-livered scoundrels, and deliver the loot, or it's a taste of the cat we'll be givin' you, once we blow yer filthy scow to flinders!"
Sulu: "ooh, heavens to betsy, that'll fetch 'em", (fans face with hand)
Spock: "Battle stations, sir?" (takes a bite of Replicator steak tartare and washes it down with a pull from a bottle of Romulan ale)
Kirk: "Now this is an order! everyone"---------
What will be his order? Will anyone listen? Stay tuned, same trek-time, same trek-station, for the next installment. |
| maclean | Tuesday, April 15, 2014 - 01:28 pm
GM keeps moving this thread immediately to "Last Week" posts. Read it while you can. |
| len Peat | Tuesday, April 15, 2014 - 10:29 pm
Frayed its a
Grey D Bear on
Capn. SIR.
"Mr. Sulu, plot an intercept course!''
''May I remind the Captain that if a Starship enters the Neutral Zone...''
"I'm aware of my responsibilities, Mr. Sulu!" |
| len Peat | Thursday, April 17, 2014 - 02:10 am
Byte at Grey D Bear on,
should have named Rock individuals Spock,
Go over the 70% Lower profile with a Docile
Stale cite an get Bettor Ham san wedge back to
Case file Byte short from |
| WildStallion | Thursday, April 17, 2014 - 02:30 pm
Hope the words posted by Andy in the Forum on Tuesday 15th April 2014 at 10.17am will be heeded so this nonsense ends. |
| Alterd Carbon | Thursday, April 17, 2014 - 05:06 pm
I would hope so. I'm really not enjoying logging into threads I follow just to find a bunch of crap posted. |
| len Peat | Friday, April 18, 2014 - 03:41 am
The Enterprise is dead in space. |
| len Peat | Friday, April 18, 2014 - 03:59 am
As Saavik sits in a stupor, Admiral
Kirks voice booms over loud-
speakers.
"All right. open her up."
The lights come up. and there is a loud clanging as Kirk enters the bridge.
and Spock comes alive.
Saavik at attention.
"I don't believe this was a fair test
of my command capabilities, Sir.
There was no way to win."
Kirk is terse.
"A no-win situation is a possibility
every commander may face. Has
that never occurred to you?"
"No sir. it has not."
"How we deal with death is at
least as important as how we deal
with life, wouldnt you say, Saavik?"
"As I indicated, Admiral, that
thought had not occurred to me."
"Then you have something new
to think about. Carry on."
"Well, Spock, your cadets destroyed the simulator room and you with it."
"The Kobayashi Maru scenario frequently wreaks havoc with students and Equipment. As I recall, you took the test three times yourself. Your final solution was, shall we say, unique?" |
| maclean | Friday, April 18, 2014 - 04:28 am
OK, now we know that lennie can communicate other than in gibberish. Or can he? Possibly he is simply copying text from a script...
Am I included in the anti-drivel campaign? I thot my ST parody was funny, but I will stop if it is annoying people. I have confined it to this one thread. |
| drys0013 | Friday, April 18, 2014 - 02:34 pm
LOL, maclean, I think he choose that script on purpose. Do you have a ST void that needs filled? maybe they need a new TV show that meets the standards that the ST fans would approve of. lol I do not mind your thread. like you said its in one thread. no harm. lol
@peat, unique!? yea it is. I've never seen Klingons so big come from someones rear end as yours! Such a great way to defeat them! Bones to peats bridge, he needs some medical attention for his hemorrhoids! And Scotty, We need a plumber! seems Capt Peat, stopped up the bathroom again! It is so backed up we might have a warp drive melt down! OH no, his Klingons have infected the coolant lines! Scotty said, The plungers to small to fix it this time! We Must Abandon ship!!! AH, I just stepped in some.... UEWWWW lol
All Beware the Vulcan Mind Meld! |
| len Peat | Tuesday, April 22, 2014 - 11:59 pm
"Well." says David,
"dont have kittens.
Genesis is going to
work. They'll remember
you in one breath with
Newton, Einstein,
Surak..." |
| len Peat | Wednesday, April 23, 2014 - 12:03 am
"Man, every time we
have dealings with Star-
fleet I get nervous.
we're dealing with
something that could be
perverted into a
dreadful weapon,
That's a zact see the-" |
| len Peat | Friday, April 25, 2014 - 08:34 pm
Mr Sulu, Plot a
360 Degree course thru
The Fibronica Fracture Zone. |
| maclean | Friday, April 25, 2014 - 10:31 pm
"Shut up, captain, or I'll fracture your fibronica!" shouts Sulu, bouncing up and down in his chair. "A 360 degree course will have us going in circles! This is the area where space-jellyfish lurk, remember? If we run into a swarm of them, it'll stop up the plasma vents!"
Kirk: "Scotty, is that true?"
Scotty: "Not bluidy likely, sirr, if we keep em swept clear with a modified beam from the deflector dish."
"No, no, not the deflector dish!!" howls Spock, jumping up and down and tearing at his hair. "Last time I had to spend hours re-routing all the damage he caused! It nearly gave me an attack of pon farr!"
Bones: " Aw, yer always threatenin' an attack of pon farr, or claustrophobi-itis, or the rigors. Get over it, ya green-blooded half-breed!"
Kirk: "That reminds me, I have to see Yeoman Rand about a dog, or something..." (slithers off his control chair and skulks toward the turbolift).
Chekov (screaming): " Keptin! Enemy wessel 2 points off the port quarter!! They are locking veppons on us! Help!" (foams at the mouth, runs around the bridge in circles) |
| Serpent | Friday, April 25, 2014 - 10:41 pm
HaHa, maclean you even have Chekov's accent right! |
| maclean | Sunday, April 27, 2014 - 01:07 am
I'm a huge ST fan, and I love doing parodies. I will stop if it is objectionable to enough people. Or maybe I'll call myself len peat and keep right on. |
| maclean | Sunday, April 27, 2014 - 01:26 am
Sulu: "Chekov! Behind you! A huge spider!"
Chekov whils around, sees nothing. Sulu snickers into his hand.
"Possibly you remember Russian proverb about boy who cried volf", snarled Chekov, "the willagers catch boy in alley later and beat him to a pulp."
"That's not how it happened", said Sulu in a shaky voice.
Chekov: "It did in Russia!"
"The ship, gentlemen, where is that damned ship?" Kirk shouts.
Spock taps his viewscreen, causing it to flicker. Mutters a curse he picked up from his Romulan cousin. "Gone, sir. Nothing but an ion trail to mark where they left."
"hmpf", McCoy snorted. "sounds like a tom cat. I'd say maybe they were Kilrathi, but this is the wrong storyline for them."
Kirk: "Sulu, plot a course following that ion trail. Mr. Scott, I'm gonna need all the power you can muster. Spock, you man the long range scanners and tell me when you sight that ship. Uhura, come sit on my lap."
Thus ready for anything, the intrepid captain waits for new developments... |
| Serpent | Monday, April 28, 2014 - 04:45 am
HaHa, to many people find to many things offensive! Do your thing maclean! |
| maclean | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 - 07:33 am
"Blood", intoned Spock, gravely, peering thru a magnifying glass. "Definitely blood".
McCoy: "What do you expect from a paper cut, wine? When you are done communing with your finger, we could use a little help on the long-range scanners, you ADHD-riddled leprechaun. The Cobalt60-neodymium doo-hickey is out of alignment or fractured or something. Probably shoddy Vulcan parts again."
Sulu: "I'll align your doo-hickey anytime, doctor. Or yours, Spock, for that matter".
Spock: (snarls) "I'll align your spine with a --"
McCoy: (snarls, curls upper lip) "Just try it, me bucko!"
Kirk: "Gentlemen (and I use that term loosely), fun and games later. We still have a missing ship to find." |
| The_Wicked_Lady | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 - 03:49 pm
I know that some peeps may get annoyed with Lenny, but I'm all for posting when it is entertaining to the community and I see people laughing and having a good time! The forum is many things to the game of Simcountry. It is a place to discuss the game, issues players are having, and a form of socialization amongst players.
And Serpent, I'm not sure what you mean by your statement, but yes, I and others do find FILTH, consistent game bashing and harassment offensive. But then what one may find offensive, another may not. It is a matter of perspective and who is the recipient. This is where RESPECT for others comes into play. |
| Aussteigen | Wednesday, April 30, 2014 - 07:31 pm
Freedom of speech shouldn't stop anyone; there should be a SC Court for insults lol, but there shouldn't be any issues with Lenpeat or Maclean. |
| maclean | Thursday, May 1, 2014 - 03:37 am
I at least am confining my literary works (Parodies) to this one thread, and by now, everyone knows it, either to enjoy or to avoid this thread if they don't like it, because that is all that is going to appear on this thread, pretty much. Ok, today I did do a "me too" post in tongues on another thread, but that was to prove a point...
anyway, enjoy.
Or not. |
| drys0013 | Thursday, May 1, 2014 - 07:14 am
Red shirt:
|
| drys0013 | Thursday, May 1, 2014 - 07:15 am
Red shirt: (shoots self in head with phaser)
He must knew he was to die when they beam down to the planet. Kirk clones another, reuses other's red shirt. Recycle man! lol
we name him red shirt #2. continue on. |
| maclean | Saturday, May 3, 2014 - 07:34 am
Kirk: " This planet sux! send down red shirt #2! we need a sacraficial lamb!"
(tranporter effect; RS2 beams down) " at your orders, cap-- AAAGGGGHHHH!!! (rs2 is gutted by a Gorn)
Kirk: "Send another red shirt!"
Spock: " Captain, it appears there is an incipient mutiny aboard ship, among the security personnell. something about lost causes, and futility, and home to mama. I didn't get all of it. Suffice it to say, you may be lacking in volunteers".
Kirk: " Send one immediately!"
(rs3 beams down, is phasered by a Gorn)
(rs4 beams down, runs away, and is vaporized by Kirk for cowardice)
Chekov: "send down vun from science team!"
( a blue shirt from science beams down, looks around)
Blue shirt: "How may I help you, Captain?"
Kirk: "Put on this shirt". (Holds up a red shirt, soaked in blood and gore)
Blue shirt: " Ummm..."
Kirk: "Now, dammit!" ( blue shirt pulls on the red shirt, becoming rs4)
(rs4 is immediately swallowed by a giant venus fly-trap plant).
Kirk: "Dammit, Bones, do something!
McCoy; "He's dead, Jim".
Chekov: "So vonderful to have you here to tell us these things... Any more wolunteers?"
(Static coming over the comm, punctuated by muffled shouts of "...didnt sign on for this crap!... leave em there, let's get out of here!...giant cluster fu..."
Spock: " Captain, I fear there is a difference of opinion as to the validity of continuing this mission."
What next? stay tuned... |
